The time to tell “all” is known as formal disclosure. It symbolically represents a new beginning in the process of rebuilding a couple’s connection. For that reason, it is a major piece in the recovery of a mutually respectful relationship dynamic. To ensure that both are ready for this step, formal disclosure usually doesn’t take place until 3-6 months into the recovery process. This gives the sex addict some time to stay “sober” and process...

Sexual betrayal is a complex issue. Your partner may at first have tried to minimize their behavior. Perhaps they were worried you would leave them if you knew the whole truth. You, on the other hand, may have pummeled them with question after question. Perhaps you felt completely confused and overwhelmed by the revelation of their betrayal. As a couple trying to make sense of what happened, your approach may have been disorganized and...

Formal disclosure. The moment when everything will be laid bare. There are wounds on both sides. Now, you’re supposed to expose them. That can be a formidable obstacle for both the addict and the partner. It’s no small step. But formal disclosure can also be the greatest moment of cleansing. The moment when all secrets are discarded and only truth is left. The beginning of a new start. Are you worried about a formal disclosure? Have you perhaps...

If you’re a sex addict, you may rightly wonder, “Why would I ever want to tell my partner everything?” If you’re the partner of a sex addict, you may wonder just the same, “Why would I ever want to hear everything?” Both questions are certainly understandable. After all, full disclosure is a very serious and difficult process. However, couples who have gone through it often feel it was worth it. Why? Because information revealed in fits and...

Are you struggling to overcome an addiction? Or are you trying to help someone do so? Either way, you’ve probably very quickly come to understand how difficult it is. In fact, the Latin root of the word “addiction” means “enslaved by” or “bound to.” How true and fitting those expressions are! An addict is enslaved or shackled to their cravings, wanting the object of their addiction—drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, shopping, eating, etc—more than...

All healthy relationships are built on trust. It forms the foundation on which feelings of safety and security rest. It validates the belief that the other person appreciates the connection and sees it as something valuable. Trust breeds confidence. But it can also be broken. And once the damage is done, it’s not always easy to regain the trust you once had… though, it’s not impossible. With commitment and consistency, you can rebuild trust and...