So, how are you doing? Before you answer “okay,” take a minute to come up with a more accurate answer. A truer answer. One that reflects the tension in your shoulders, that sense that you’ve forgotten how to breathe deeply, or that it seems so difficult lately to really focus in on anything. What’s that not okay feeling about? That’s stress. That’s how you’re really doing. And living with stress, on an ongoing basis, does a real number on your...

What do you know about “brainspotting”? It sounds like a serious problem, or maybe even a disease, but it’s actually a highly effective, research-based treatment solution for many people in psychological and physiological pain. Brainspotting is a relatively new treatment and one of the fastest growing mental health developments of its kind. After serving his clients with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy for some...

Do you wonder how you could have gone so far? Looking at the havoc wrought on your life, your relationships, and your self-esteem by your sex addiction, are you struggling with devastating shame? How in the world can you get through this? You probably knew that, eventually, your double life would catch up with you. But you might not have known how intense the shame would be. To go on, you’ll have to learn tools to manage shame as part of your...

Addiction is a beast. A cruel one. It doesn’t care about you. It toys with you. It doesn’t befriend with you. It draws you in. All along, it whispers “more” and “higher” and “mine.” Addiction has no empathy for you, your situation, or the messes it makes. And the longer the two of you are involved, the harder you find it to care about the people you hurt, or the people who love you. Why is that? Why does addiction seem to steal the caring...

Intimacy anorexia has been described in lot of ways. None of them good. “A prison of my own design.” “Walls of withdrawal and withheld affection.” “…a marital cancer.” Emotional, spiritual and sexual intimacy are intentionally and perpetually withheld by the “intimacy anorexic,” regardless of the damage done to their partner (who generally longed for a more fulfilled connection), or to the relationship in general. The spouse who craves intimacy...

Sex addiction is big. Big enough to drive a permanent wedge between you and your partner. Big enough to do lasting emotional damage if you don’t make serious efforts to turn things around. Once it’s out in the open, there will be hurt. Anger. There will be questions. Fears. Early on, you’ll probably ask yourselves, and maybe each other, “Is it over?” Recovery may seem impossible. But, as reality and acceptance set in, you might wonder something...