It begins to change the way you see yourself, your future, and your relationships.
All you know is that something needs to change.
You need relief.
Grief can complicate things internally, rearrange your thinking, and leave the door open for deep hopelessness, persistent joylessness, and prolonged sadness.
Sometimes grief can turn into depression.
While it is common for most people to experience depressed moods following loss, some people actually experience clinical or major depression. Experts from Mental Health America say that nearly 20 percent of grieving people battle major depression as a result of grief. You may be at greater risk for depression triggered by grief if you have previously been diagnosed with depression, struggle with addiction, have a highly stressful lifestyle, or haven’t much social or family support.
Depression often occurs for these several underlying reasons as well:
- Prolonged grief can lead to persistent depressed moods and amplify depressive episodes that encompass more than loss, emptiness, and references to the deceased.
- The pain of grief may be so constant that life in general becomes dissatisfying and devoid of pleasure.
- Intense grief may be disrupting your ability to emotional regulate. Continual focus on the loss leads to depressive episodes or general misery.
- Grief without consolation often leads to unapproachable, persistent withdrawal.
- At its worst, your grief may become so intolerable that you become suicidal, a clear sign depression is at work, as you feel that you either don’t deserve to be alive or resent life generally.
Whatever your situation, the two experiences, grief and major depression, often combine to create a wealth of suffering. Take these steps to regain some peace:
Initiate some internal investigation
Self-awareness can help ease the cycle of rumination that characterizes depression. Ruminating on the loss, your feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness, and other negative thoughts can lead to a mental shutdown that only leads you to darker places mentally and emotionally.
Take time to sit with the grief, stay present, and notice the associated thoughts and emotions for what they are. Soon, you may begin to accept your emotions, feel more in control of the depression, and challenge the validity of your negative thoughts. Journaling, meditation, or worshipping with your faith community may be helpful ways you learn to pay attention to and redirect your thoughts.
Challenge isolation
Depression does its best work in isolation. You won’t want to, but try to reach out anyway.
Neither grief nor depression is best addressed by yourself. Let the people who care about you support you. Allow the people who share your grief to grieve with you. Challenge the belief that you are alone in the world.
Find ways to frequently come in contact with the world outside your mind. Consider buying a pet or joining a group of people who share a favorite activity. Depression will have less hold on you if you stimulate your mind with fresh air as you walk the dog, engage in an activity that used to bring you pleasure, and remind yourself that there are people who share your interests and might enjoy those activities alongside you.
Allow for self-compassion and self-care
Deliberately and intentionally meet your need for care. Emotionally and mentally, treat yourself like a friend. Grief is not shameful. Loss is not a reason to beat yourself up. Pay attention to your self-talk and soften your tone. Physically, try to stick to a calming night routine of soothing activities and an early bedtime to facilitate a good night’s sleep. Exercise and eat well to increase your energy.
Embrace expert care
Depression rarely dissipates on its own. One of the best things you can do to combat depression is seek the help of a trained grief counselor or therapist. Talking about how your loss has changed your life, worldview, and self perception can be extremely helpful in a professional setting.
Over time, you will benefit from the tools and dedicated time a professional has to offer. Working together, you can begin to resolve your grief-based depression and infuse more hope and purpose into your life.
