The clock on your screen was supposed to remind you to only spend a few minutes surfing, gaming, posting, clicking, and chatting. Instead you barely glanced at the clock and now you’re alarmed to find that letters on the clock are no longer the same: “PM” is now the wee hours of the “AM”… and you still want to keep going… just a few more clicks.
That’s internet addiction. You know you should get up, log off, unplug.
But you don’t. No matter how many people try to get your attention or how many responsibilities call to you, you linger longer online.
Even if you leave the screen to meet those needs, your mind still itches to get back to your favorite cyber circumstances. Real life and real relationships pale in comparison.
Unfortunately, for all of the net’s allure and excitement, the connections created don’t tend to meet the human need for physical touch, face to face communication, and real, nuanced connection.
Internet addiction results from Internet activity designed to support a practice of approval-seeking and pleasure-seeking that come so easily through a steady diet of highly stimulating online material.
Unfortunately, that material is designed to keep you gorging on it.
The way it addresses your sexual, social, and emotional needs seems fulfilling, but really the only way to maintain the dopamine rush created by each digested picture, page, or post, is to keep watching and clicking, otherwise the fear of missing out feels overwhelming.
It’s vital that you take measures to recognize when the Internet simply isn’t manageable for you.
You need ways to identify when screen time is intruding upon real time so that you can back away, unplug, and restore order on your own or with the help of a therapist.
Knowing when to unplug and get help is crucial for those managing Internet addiction before the damage to your life, career, and relationship is irreparable.
Here are some key ways to know when to unplug from your virtual world:
- Too much time. If you find you are spending excessive amounts of time or clearing your schedule to make time for the Internet, your priorities, career, and life goals are likely being affected negatively and tech use has become intrusive.
- Your loved ones want you back. Pay attention to those who care about you. Do you find that hard to do? Have you fallen into a habit of putting them off or dismissing them for the sake of more Internet time? If you find that people in your life are disturbed or complaining about the amount of time and energy you spend on the Internet, it’s time to unplug.
- The time spent online is compelling but not fulfilling. If you find yourself becoming more and more depressed or lonely while on line, you may be looking for love, connection, and appreciation on all the wrong web pages.
- Secrets are coming between you and your significant other. If you find yourself hiding information, payments, photos, and online relationships from your spouse, partner, friends, and family, something is wrong. The extent and nature of your online use should not be a secret.
- Sex and the internet are too closely connected. If your primary sexual expression and connections are now linked to Internet sites and meet-ups made through technology, the net is interfering with healthy connection and possibly jeopardizing your real life relationships.
- You are choosing online anonymity over relational intimacy. Beware of the detriments of fulfilling your social, sexual, and interpersonal needs via the net in a detached way. If you are constantly seeking connection by avatar, username, or false online identities, you may need to step away and get back to your real life.
- Shame and compulsion have become an exhausting cycle. If you feel that you simply can’t stop, that you need to get back to the Internet when you walk away, and then feel ashamed or guilty for the time spent online, it’s time to set some limits and seek help from a professional.
The Internet is hard to escape in this day and age. But it doesn’t need to be a prison.
Knowing when to step away and seek out the tools for better management of the net is vital to reining in its impact on your life. Seek help and rediscover offline joy and happiness again soon.
