You never imagined that the “for worse” you promised to love you partner through would involve porn, infidelity, and layer upon layer of betrayal.
You’re married to someone you don’t recognize.
You’re living with the reality of sex addiction.
You need help.
Why therapy?
Because you need to know you’re not alone.
The pain of your situation may have left you feeling abandoned by the person you trusted most. The sordidness of the betrayal may leave you feeling isolated from the support of your family. The shame of your broken marriage may make it difficult to deal with your happily married friends.
You need someone safe and willing to sit with you, hear you, keep you steady.
A therapist can offer you all of that and help you see that all hope is not lost.
The mental and emotional pain is real, but so is the possibility of a reclaimed identity and secure future.
Because your heart and mind have been traumatized.
Trauma victims often replay the disaster in their minds, going over and over the events, asking themselves what happened and what could they have done differently; they’re stuck in a mental and emotional drama that shook their world.
How many times do you replay your spouse’s abuse of your trust?
In therapy, you can come to realize that nothing you could have done would have changed your partner’s addiction.
You are not to blame for his or her compulsive behaviors.
You don’t have to relive this heartache, remain stuck or haunted by anxiety, stew in depression, or succumb to any other mental wound inflicted by your spouse’s issues.
A therapist will help you heal and make lasting, positive changes in your life.
Because your feelings count.
You want to cry. You’re so hurt.
You want to swear. You’re so angry.
You want to hide. You’re so humiliated.
What’s holding you back?
You need a place to work through all of that.
The recovery needs of your partner may have overshadowed your need to deal with your own emotions. Perhaps you have stuffed your feelings deep down because you didn’t want to fall apart. Or maybe an explosion of emotion is just under the surface, ready to break free and do damage.
What happened to you is wrong and painful.
The reality is, you have a complete right to your emotions.
And you have a right to their healthy expression.
Let a therapist provide you a safe place to get away, release, and temper the impact of your feelings on your relationship, life, and wellbeing.
He or she can share skills and techniques to help foster a healthy emotional foundation and the strength to recover.
Because you need to move forward.
Should you stay with your spouse?
How do you forgive?
Where do you go from here?
Therapy is an excellent place to get your bearings. You can take a hard look at where you are and make some well-informed, positive decisions.
Sessions spent with a therapist can help you find forgiveness, explore options for rebuilding trust in your marriage, or prepare for separation.
Allow a therapist to improve your capacity to move forward. He or she will help you re-invest in yourself so that you can take steps toward a productive future with hope restored.
Wedding vows never let on how bad “for worse” can be.
But you can overcome this.
Survive your partner’s sexual addiction to become stronger and more self-accepting with rising self-esteem.
Just let someone experienced, compassionate, and safe help provide you the emotional tools you’ll need.
