Are Your Sexual Thoughts And Behaviors Controlling You?
- Do you spend a great deal of time masturbating, watching porn, or thinking about your next opportunity to do so?
- Are you frequently distracted by sexual thoughts and fantasies?
- Do you often feel compelled to find sexual release, even with someone who is not your partner?
- Are your sexual habits causing pain, tension, and avoidance in your relationship?
- Do you wish you could learn how to find relief from sex addiction?
If you are struggling with sex addiction you might feel ashamed, anxious, and unsure of what to do. Perhaps you don’t know if your feelings and actions are normal, or if you are trapped in unhealthy patterns. Maybe you have experienced the same thoughts and habits since you were a teenager. You might have tried to stop on your own, but feel frustrated when you find yourself falling back into compulsive sexual behavior.
Maybe you are having trouble connecting in your relationship. You might feel afraid that your partner, a friend, a family member, or a coworker will discover your compulsive sexual habits and judge or shun you. You may wonder what will happen to your relationship or how to save a relationship that is already strained. Perhaps you are not even sure that you want to put an end to your behavior, although your partner has asked you to many times. Or, maybe you know that you want to make a change for your long-term health and happiness, but you aren’t sure how.
Sex Addiction Is More Common Than Most People Think
Many adults who struggle with sex addiction feel utterly alone and develop feelings of shame and self-disgust. Although you may feel like you are the only one suffering from this problem, sex addiction is far more pervasive than most people realize. Feelings of shame often cause people to hide their compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, which can perpetuate the illusion that sex addiction is a rare issue. But, you are not alone.
Each individual is unique, and there are six different types of sex addicts.
- The biological addict, who may be addicted to the pleasurable changes and chemical release that sex stimulates in the brain.
- The trauma-based addict, who may be attempting to reenact a traumatic sexual experience from his or her youth.
- The psychological addict, who may use sex in an attempt to meet other emotional needs or to soothe deeply held or hidden pain.
- The spiritually-based addict, who may use sex to attempt to connect to something larger than him or herself.
- The mood-disordered addict, who suffers from a disorder such as depression or anxiety and tries to find relief through sexual acts.
- The “intimacy anorexic,” who, rather than enacting sexual desires, compulsively withholds sex and affection.
Most people struggling with sex addiction embody more than one of these types. Each person has a unique set of internal and external factors contributing to his or her compulsive sexual behavior. The good news, however, is that regardless of which type of addict you might be, sex addiction treatment can help.
With Sex Addiction Treatment, You Can Work Toward Recovery
In discussions of addiction, sex addiction is too often ignored, and many people lack the specialized training needed to truly help struggling individuals. After extensive training, I have helped many people with issues similar to yours understand and work through their addiction to sex. You do not have to be stuck in destructive patterns forever.
During sex addiction treatment, you and I can identify which type or types of sex addiction you are struggling with. Once we understand what fuels your addiction, we can develop a strategy to help you begin to change your behaviors. Through behavioral therapy techniques, you can begin to break bad habits and replace them with healthier patterns.
I can also help you develop mindfulness techniques. You can learn to be in the moment and gain a non-judgmental awareness about what is really happening in your mind and body when sexual urges or cravings overwhelm you. As you begin to understand what your mind and body are actually reacting to, we can start to unpack some of the underlying issues beneath your sex addiction. Each individual’s experience is different, and I will work with you and your needs every step of the way.
You don’t have to feel ashamed of your compulsive sexual thoughts or behaviors. By working with a trained therapist, you can work through them. Although you may feel stuck, you are not. You can develop the skills to take hold of your life again.
You may believe that sex addiction treatment can help you feel better, but may still have questions or concerns…
If I Have an Addiction, How Can I Control It?
You may worry that calling your behaviors an “addiction” gives them power. But, if you have an addiction, your actions are not truly yours. That said, compulsive and obsessive sexual thoughts and behaviors do not need to control your life. You can call your sexual thoughts and behaviors whatever you’d like, but the facts remain: you are in pain, your partner is in pain, and your relationship is in pain. Sex addiction treatment can help you work through that pain and break free of actions or thoughts that distract you from living a full, connected life.
My Partner Is Just Over-reacting.
If you are struggling with sex addiction, you may be unable to see your behaviors as destructive. You might feel like you are following your urges and doing no harm. While you might not want to stop your behaviors or feel there is no need to stop, I encourage you to think more deeply about the broader impacts of your actions. Sex addiction might be affecting your life in ways you have not yet realized. Do you struggle to concentrate and perform well at work? Is it a challenge to engage with your partner or family when you return home? If your compulsive sexual thoughts or behaviors are causing you or your partner pain, there are steps you can take to diminish that suffering.
Can Sex Addiction Treatment Really Work?
You may feel like nothing can help to stop your compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, especially if you have experienced them from an early age. But sex addiction treatment can help you. You can develop the tools necessary to understand the source of your urges and find healthy ways to deal with underlying issues. You can have a healthier, more fulfilling sex life and strengthen your bond with your partner or future partner. I have seen therapy help many clients. If you have patience and a willingness to make important changes, it can work for you, too.
You don’t have to keep struggling alone. I invite you to call me at 732-806-5630 or to contact me through my website to learn more about sex addiction treatment and my practice.
